Croissant butter, yes really
Welcome the first edition of 'Home for Christmas'
It’s nearly Christmas - no time for cynicism here, so locate your threadbare Christmas Santa hat, put on that ‘Christmas Jazz’ playlist (I know you have one) and channel your inner Mariah Carey because ‘‘It’s ttiiiiiiiime!’’
Welcome to the first edition of Home for Christmas. In this new series expect cozy, comforting and occasionally controversial recipes (keep reading, you’ll understand soon enough).
In the lead up to the holidays there will be a steady stream of festive recipes from cocktails to desserts, snacks to appetizers and a myriad of side dish and dinner inspirations. It matters not if you’ve been naughty or nice, because I haven’t turned on paid subscriptions yet, so consider this my Christmas present to you!
I committed a culinary sin: I pulverized croissants in a food processor.
This barbarism took place whilst testing a recipe for Christmas croissant butter. Although no slight is intended, if the idea of croissant butter is detestable to you, try to think of it as an inverted croissant - deconstructed if you will.
A little backstory
One day, whilst lazily browsing Instagram, I came across Pollen Bakery and discovered their croissant butter. Yes, that’s right – butter made with croissants. Certainly not to be confused with croissants made with butter. Whatever it was, I needed it, and so, apparently, did a host of others – the delicacy had sold out. Determined not to wait a moment longer, I put on my best recipe developer’s hat and resolved to recreate this confection in my own kitchen.
Toasted croissants, caramelized white chocolate, Christmas spices and orange zest - I shoved everything into my food processor and hoped for the best. A sticky creamy fragrant goo emerged not unlike the texture of crunchy peanut butter. Actually, to be honest I didn’t want the recipe to work. In fact, I willed it to be an epic failure. I knew if it succeeded I wouldn’t be able to keep this delicious abomination to myself which would mean admitting to the entire internet that I, a respectable cook, blended croissants in a food processor.
It should be illegal. It ain't right. It’s an insult to pastry chefs everywhere, but I figured that if I was going to commit a croissant crime, it might as well be a spectacular one. It was a good call - the final result is completely divine.
No regrets
Of course, it makes complete sense for a professional bakery to find creative and inventive uses for left-over day-old croissants, but as a home cook I never have any leftover croissants, ever. So yes, I’ll admit it, for this experiment I used freshly baked croissants.
No regrets, I’d do it again despite the transgressive act of pulverizing pastry – all that lamination, all that work. It’s a shame really, despicable behavior, except that it produced ridiculously delicious results.
Fine, I'm making it. How do I use it?
I’m glad I've persuaded you, it would be a shame to argue over puffed pastry.
This croissant butter is ambrosial and especially so when spread with abandon on a warm freshly baked (yep, you guessed it) croissant. However, if you place the butter in the fridge overnight, it stiffens slightly, making it perfect for creating round chocolate covered truffles or cake pops. I also tried the croissant butter warm, heating it in the microwave for 15 seconds and then spreading it on a fat juicy medjool date. That was something else.
Mind you, in my opinion the best way to enjoy this Christmas delicacy is hunched over the food processor, licking the spatula whilst manically laughing like the insane croissant killer you are.
Recipe
4 croissants, toasted/baked for 4 minutes
150g Golden blonde/dulcey or caramelized white chocolate, melted
275g condensed milk
3-5 tbsp neutral oil
2-3 tbsp milk
¼ tsp Christmas spice (nutmeg, cinnamon, clove etc)
¼ tsp orange zest, grated
Method
Toast/bake the croissants for 4 minutes.
Melt the chocolate in the microwave in increments of 15-20 seconds.
Place all the ingredients in a food processor to combine. If the mixture appears too stiff, add a little more milk as you go.
Voila! Croissant goo!
Stored in an airtight container, this croissant butter can be kept in the refrigerator for a week +
Notes
The chocolate. If you can’t find golden blonde/dulcey chocolate then go to Great British Chefs where you will find the easy method for caramelized white chocolate.
Experiment with ingredients, proportions and methods. For instance, trade the croissants for lotus biscuits, add a little more spice, condensed milk or even nuts for added texture. Go crazy and pass the butter through a strainer for an extra smooth result.
The recipes you will find here are not commands. I am not telling you how to cook. Take every word with a proverbial pinch of salt; discovery and understanding can only be realized through trial and error. Read a recipe and then forget it! Be an explorer; a seeker willing to travel to parts unknown. Yes, that’s the spirit!
Great gifts! Pollen Bakery has tons of delicious treats on their website, so if you can, support them by ordering festive goodies just in time for Christmas!
That was fun! See you tomorrow for Recipes & More!
If I was a French policeman, I’d give you 5 to 10 for this crime!! Still gonna try it though. 😏